It's funny...
How it becomes difficult to swallow
How your vision gets clouded and your head is pounding
and how although you've cried much to many tears your body still allows you to spend more and more.
My dog died today....and I loved her so much. And every time I enter a room I cry...when I see the backdoor it's the worst...I expect to see her there licking the glass and pawing the wood deck, but she's not. Then I look in my room at her nest burrowed out in my blankets at the foot of the bed, and she's not there. then at the cage in the garage she occupied only a day before, the leash that was torn from her persistant attempts at a squirrel. She wasn't even a year old. So she was getting fixed big whoop. The anestesia shocked her heart and they couldn't bring her back. "always happens to the really good ones" That's what our vet said when she told my mom... I her she would be okay and come back home perfectly fine. and i lied to her. "the thing about dogs is no matter what you say they come back and love you just as much" I looked at her and cried "so why hasn't luna come back then mom?" then i think of the stupid thoughts coming through my mind when my dad told me we had to talk. Was I in trouble? Had the computer crashed? but luna was the last thing on my mind. when I found out i cried, and i realized that while i was at the movies and laughing giddily with my friends...my dog was dead....I want my dog to come home and for this to not have happened...I can't stop crying and my head hurts and I want to know why it had to be my dog!? and why now...I can't look at another animal without feeling envy and depression...I can't sit in a room without crying because there''s an esence of my dog there...I can't believe that I can cry for 5 hours total...I don't want to bear those two days of class before thanksgiving...I hate this and I want my dog back....why hasn't she come home

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